Attorney: I can't hear you... Can you hear me? Hello? Can you hear me? HEY. Can you hear me?
Me: It might be the--
Attorney: HELLO? Helloooooooo? Tom? Hello? Tom? Tom?
Me: Maybe try calling--
Attorney: Tom....... Tom........ Hey... Tom? Tom..... TOM? TOM? HELLO? Can you hear me??
Me: It's not--
Attorney: Caaaaaan youuuuuuu heeeeaaaar meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
Me: If you just--
Attorney: I can't hear ya, Tom. I don't know if you can hear me or not? Tom? Tom? Can you HEAR me? Can you HEAR me? Can you hear ME? CAN you hear me? Can YOU hear ME?
Me: HE'S NOT GOING TO COME BACK.
Attorney: Oh, hey man! I had you on mute!
Me: Good afternoon, MLKJKKWT Law Firm
Caller: Hi, is so-and-so in?
Me: I haven't seen him today... but he usually comes in the back door, so---
Caller: Yeah, I've heard that about so-and-so.
Me: ....... So.... I'll have to call back there to find out if he's in or not.........................................
Me: Good afternoon Anonymous Law Firm!
Caller: Hi, I need to see if a check went through.
Me: Sure, let me transfer you to accounts payable.
Me: [1 minute later] Good afternoon, Anonymous Law Firm!
Caller: Hi, I just called about seeing about a check. I got a voice recording - I really need to speak to somebody about this.
Me: Sure, let me transfer you again.
Me: [1 minute later] Good afternoon, Anonymous Law Firm!
Caller: Hi, I keep getting voice recordings... Can I not speak to a person? I don't want to do voice recordings.
Me: Ma'am, those are their voicemails. It means they're not at their desks. I would suggest leaving a voice mail so a person can call you back.
Caller: Oh...... Okay.....
But the attorneys are hovering in the lobby… Can’t look at my phone!
Seriously. My only job is to reserve conference rooms for people.
I’M the one who knows when and where conferences are supposed to be. So when people just walk into conference rooms without so much as ASKING if they’re available - it makes me want to throw a computer.
I’m having a really hard time translating just how pissed I am right now. AHHHHHH!
So why is it that every single attorney that comes in after me, tries to unlock the door TOO? Without checking to see if it’s already unlocked?
And, on top of that, they all re-lock it, assuming I’m NOT here. Then, when they see me, they don’t re-unlock it!!!! So I have to get up from the comfy position I’ve finally found at my desk, and unlock the door I’ve already unlocked TWICE this morning!
Grumbles.
These people be stealing my pens from my desk! There’s a cup for them shenanigans! Take the pens from the cup, not from my desk!
Those pens are MY PENS. MYPENS. MINE. My. Pens.
Give me. My. Freaking. Brand new. Calculator. Back.
Now.
Me: Good afternoon Catherine & Catherine Law Firm!
Caller: Sandy.
Me: I'm sorry?
Caller: Sandy?
Me: .... Sir, would you like me to transfer you to Sandy?
Caller: Oh, I thought you were her.
Me: No sir.
Caller: .... Can you transfer me to Sandy?
Me: Good afternoon, 24oz Law Firm!
Caller: Yes. Who there in charge of law firm?
Me: I'm sorry?
Caller: What attorney is in charge of the law firm?
Me: We don't actually have one attorney in charge......
Caller: ......
Me: ......
Caller: Alright, can I speak to Mr. Pibb?
