Me: Good afternoon Catherine & Catherine Law Firm!
Caller: Sandy.
Me: I'm sorry?
Caller: Sandy?
Me: .... Sir, would you like me to transfer you to Sandy?
Caller: Oh, I thought you were her.
Me: No sir.
Caller: .... Can you transfer me to Sandy?
Me: Good afternoon, Ficus Law Firm.
Caller: Hi, I know your firm only does Corporate Litigation, but do you do any Civil Rights cases?
Me: No ma'am, only Corporate Litigation.
Caller: Do you know if any of your attorneys will do any Civil Rights cases?
Me: .... No ma'am.... We only do Corporate Litigation.
Caller: Well, can you connect me with somebody who does Civil Rights cases?
Me: ....... I can direct you to the Lawyer Referral Hotline...
Caller: I already have that. I want one of your attorneys.
Me: ..... We don't do Civil Rights cases.
Caller: So you don't do Civil Rights cases?
Me: ........... No ma'am.
Caller: Can you find out if any of your attorneys do??
Me: None of ours do.
Caller: None of them?
Me: Let me put you on hold --
Caller: [CLICK]
Me: ............................... >:|
Me: Good morning Umbrella Law Firm.
Caller: Hello?
Me: Hi!
Caller: Who is this?
Me: .... Umbrella Law Firm.
Caller: Um, I think you must have dialed the wrong number, sweetie.
Me: ...... You called me.
Caller: Uhhh, no. I was in the bathroom.
Me: ......... Well. Uh.....
Caller: Yeah, you have the wrong number, honey.
Me: ....... But.... my phone rang.......
Caller: Sorry about that.
Obviously intelligent people: Can you hear me? ........... Can you HEAR me? ......... Can you HEAR me? ......... Can YOU HEEEEAR me? CAAAN. YOUUUUUU. HEAAAAAR. Me? CAN you HEAR me? CAN you HEAR me? CAN you HEAR me? Can you hear me. CAN YOU HEAR ME??!
Me: ... That's.......... That's not how it works...... Phones don't..... They don't work like that.... If.. Okay. She can't hear you.
Today I’m listening to one of the attorneys click his mouse so loudly and angrily that I’m almost certain it’s going to crush under his fingers…
CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK…
“Unngh.”
CLICK CLICK.
Heavy sigh.
CLICK CLICK
“Freaking—”
CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK
click.
