Attorney: I can't hear you... Can you hear me? Hello? Can you hear me? HEY. Can you hear me?
Me: It might be the--
Attorney: HELLO? Helloooooooo? Tom? Hello? Tom? Tom?
Me: Maybe try calling--
Attorney: Tom....... Tom........ Hey... Tom? Tom..... TOM? TOM? HELLO? Can you hear me??
Me: It's not--
Attorney: Caaaaaan youuuuuuu heeeeaaaar meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
Me: If you just--
Attorney: I can't hear ya, Tom. I don't know if you can hear me or not? Tom? Tom? Can you HEAR me? Can you HEAR me? Can you hear ME? CAN you hear me? Can YOU hear ME?
Me: HE'S NOT GOING TO COME BACK.
Attorney: Oh, hey man! I had you on mute!
Me: Good afternoon, MLKJKKWT Law Firm
Caller: Hi, is so-and-so in?
Me: I haven't seen him today... but he usually comes in the back door, so---
Caller: Yeah, I've heard that about so-and-so.
Me: ....... So.... I'll have to call back there to find out if he's in or not.........................................
Me: Good afternoon Anonymous Law Firm!
Caller: Hi, I need to see if a check went through.
Me: Sure, let me transfer you to accounts payable.
Me: [1 minute later] Good afternoon, Anonymous Law Firm!
Caller: Hi, I just called about seeing about a check. I got a voice recording - I really need to speak to somebody about this.
Me: Sure, let me transfer you again.
Me: [1 minute later] Good afternoon, Anonymous Law Firm!
Caller: Hi, I keep getting voice recordings... Can I not speak to a person? I don't want to do voice recordings.
Me: Ma'am, those are their voicemails. It means they're not at their desks. I would suggest leaving a voice mail so a person can call you back.
Caller: Oh...... Okay.....
So why is it that every single attorney that comes in after me, tries to unlock the door TOO? Without checking to see if it’s already unlocked?
And, on top of that, they all re-lock it, assuming I’m NOT here. Then, when they see me, they don’t re-unlock it!!!! So I have to get up from the comfy position I’ve finally found at my desk, and unlock the door I’ve already unlocked TWICE this morning!
Grumbles.
Me: Good afternoon Catherine & Catherine Law Firm!
Caller: Sandy.
Me: I'm sorry?
Caller: Sandy?
Me: .... Sir, would you like me to transfer you to Sandy?
Caller: Oh, I thought you were her.
Me: No sir.
Caller: .... Can you transfer me to Sandy?
Me: Good afternoon, Ficus Law Firm.
Caller: Hi, I know your firm only does Corporate Litigation, but do you do any Civil Rights cases?
Me: No ma'am, only Corporate Litigation.
Caller: Do you know if any of your attorneys will do any Civil Rights cases?
Me: .... No ma'am.... We only do Corporate Litigation.
Caller: Well, can you connect me with somebody who does Civil Rights cases?
Me: ....... I can direct you to the Lawyer Referral Hotline...
Caller: I already have that. I want one of your attorneys.
Me: ..... We don't do Civil Rights cases.
Caller: So you don't do Civil Rights cases?
Me: ........... No ma'am.
Caller: Can you find out if any of your attorneys do??
Me: None of ours do.
Caller: None of them?
Me: Let me put you on hold --
Caller: [CLICK]
Me: ............................... >:|
Me: Good morning Umbrella Law Firm.
Caller: Hello?
Me: Hi!
Caller: Who is this?
Me: .... Umbrella Law Firm.
Caller: Um, I think you must have dialed the wrong number, sweetie.
Me: ...... You called me.
Caller: Uhhh, no. I was in the bathroom.
Me: ......... Well. Uh.....
Caller: Yeah, you have the wrong number, honey.
Me: ....... But.... my phone rang.......
Caller: Sorry about that.
Obviously intelligent people: Can you hear me? ........... Can you HEAR me? ......... Can you HEAR me? ......... Can YOU HEEEEAR me? CAAAN. YOUUUUUU. HEAAAAAR. Me? CAN you HEAR me? CAN you HEAR me? CAN you HEAR me? Can you hear me. CAN YOU HEAR ME??!
Me: ... That's.......... That's not how it works...... Phones don't..... They don't work like that.... If.. Okay. She can't hear you.
Me: Good afternoon Cherry Coke Law Firm!
Caller: Uh, yes. Is this National Bank - First Union?
Me: No ma'am.
Caller: This isn't Nation Bank - First Union?
Me: No ma'am.
Caller: Then what is it?
Me: Cherry Coke Law Firm.
Caller: And what do you do?
Me: We're a law firm.
Caller: Oh, a law firm?
Me: Yes ma'am.
Caller: Oh.... Okay.... Bye.
This morning, an old man drove the wrong direction through the entire one-way parking garage.
Then he parked in a reserved spot.
Dude, that’s not your spot.
